There's a trans theory concept called the "Cotton Ceiling." (Basically, it tries to explain why some, especially lesbian, women don't really see trans women as real women), Rad-fems don't like it, as one might expect. I'm not going to try and discuss the contents of that article, or the comments on it; I might do so later, but it's tricky and I'm only marginally qualified to talk about this.
I will link to someone who thinks it's all a big miscommunication. Others might suggest that the real issue is unsolvable: rad-fems will refuse to see trans women as women (or even, arguably, as people) regardless, while simultaneously refusing to really see trans men as men (which they're okay with, since women are generally beyond reproach). I don't really know the answer.
But I would like to make an observation. It's been made before, but it bears repeating: our culture is obsessed with penises, and this needs to stop.