Rabbits, Blinkity

And Buducnost is the new champion. 54-54 by points scored while away.

So I had several feelings about the semifinals, but then I didn't write them down and promptly forgot. In any case, all the expected teams won, and it wasn't really close. Home court advantage made all the difference for the Hungarians.

As for the final... well (loud American alert), this is why the majority of sports don't play two-legged ties. "Points scored while away" doesn't seem like much of a metric for deciding the champion. Best-of-N seems so much more satisfying, and it's not like they couldn't sell the tickets. Plus, it seems to screw with the psychology of the players; Györi let a 5 goal lead slip to two in the first leg, which didn't seem like a big deal at the time but in retrospect made all the difference. Still, that's handball for you.

As for the final game itself, basically:
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So, Cow on Ice beat Vika the Pirate (aka Extremely Injured) in the Stuttgart final. And it was awesome.

So now, people are speculating on whether or not Sharapova's best surface is clay now. I'm pleased to report that according to my magic tennis statistics box, is probably is:

Maria Sharapova pre-surgery (before 2009)
Overall win percentage: 0.794
Clay win percentage: 0.750
Grass win percentage: 0.855
Hardcourt win percentage: 0.790

Clay is worst.

Maria Sharapova post-surgery (2009 and on)
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If I see one more obnoxious, anti-women, homophobic article/post/comment about Brittney Griner, I'm going to scream. Did you get pissed because Shaq was 7'1" and weighed 300 pounds? No, you didn't. You either though he was awesome because he could push people around and get those rebounds, or you didn't like him because he was beating your team, but respected his physical skills anyway.

And yes, this means you, Muffatt McGraw. Playing with Griner was not like "a guy playing with women." It was like playing a woman who is 6'8" and really good at basketball. Which, as it turns out, is remarkably like playing a person who is 6'8" and really good at basketball. (Besides, the reason ND lost so badly was that Novosel couldn't hit the broad side of a barn and Peters couldn't keep her fouls under control. Not Griner's fault anyway. But even if it was, the point still stands.) Heck, I could say the same thing about 5'9" Skylar Diggins, she kinda has "shoulders like a man," don't you think? See how ridiculous this sounds?

It's like the whole Hingis vs. Mauresmo business. Ironically enough, compared to modern players like Serena Williams or Stosur or Kvitova, Mauresmo of 1999 seems downright, well, average in terms of physicality. When "masculine" equals "good at sports," of course women who are good at sports will seem masculine. It's only going to become more true over time, and unless you're some kind of asshole who thinks women's sports are only supposed to be a mild, barely competitive diversion, this is a good thing.

Just stop already. Brittney Griner is one of the best female basketball players ever. I don't care if she did just beat your team; you've got to respect her anyway.
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There's a show on the USA network called Fairly Legal. It's about an arbitration negotiator, but that's not really important. Actually, the show is quite terrible; the plots are bizarrely artificial and usually contrived to demonstrate that, yes, the lead is the most gorgeous person in all of television. But it's still—for a certain mindset, anyway—well worth watching to see Sarah Shahi treat people like crap. (Or rather Shahi's character, to be fair, not that anybody actually cares to differentiate. It's "Sarah Shahi AS Tremendous Jerk"). If she want to get someone's attention, she'll whistle loudly or scream or break glass. Once per episode she'll dump a drink on somebody, or throw their cell phone into the harbor, or... you get the picture. She's completely unprofessional, and always late for everything. She periodically sets things on fire.

Sometimes this is vaguely justified, but usually? It's just not. And it's still fun to watch. We still want Kate to "win."

When it comes to entertainment, we love assholes. Our friends who run the USA network are particularly fond of them, of course (see also: In Plain Sight, Burn Notice, et al.) It's basically the whole point of House. 30 Rock's Jack Donaghy is made of asshole, and has basically no other redeeming qualities. Anything involving Gorden Ramsey is generally this. And you can't convince me that a substantial percentage of the inordinately large crowd watching American Idol, or now X-Factor, aren't there purely to watch Simon Cowell insult people in a British accent.

All this is a very complicated way to say that yes, Victoria Azarenka is a bit of a dick. In the very worst possible way. This doesn't mean you can't want her to win.
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Over in the land of professional tennis, there's been a lot of talk lately about so-called "grunting". It seems certain tennis player make a noise when they hit the ball. And whether you call it grunting, or screaming, or growling, or "I-hate-that-turn-it-off," opinions can be found everywhere from USA Today to FOX Sports Australia to every tennis blog, forum, and TV commentator. Every time you turn around, somebody else has something else to say about it.

It's horrible and distracting. It's borderline gamespersonship, and the players should complain. It's not actually that bad, and people should just put the TV on mute on if they don't like it. It's not actually that bad live; it's just the microphones that make it seem loud. It's even worse live, you can hear it from the next stadium over. It's contrary to the spirit of tennis; it's a sign tennis is evolving beyond its country club roots.

So, naturally, I have some feelings about this too. And my number-one feeling is, get over yourselves! Here's why.
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Quick recap of Day 5, which I skipped

Larvik went ahead and lost to FJ Midtjylland, whilst Itxako tied Györi, so there was still a chance for either the Spaniards or the Norse to make it.

Larvik vs. Györi 31-25

As expected Larvik was much more motivated. They jumped out to an early 3-4 point lead before Györi decided to save a bit of face. But at halftime, the score was still 13-11 in favor of Larvik. More importantly, they'd forced the game into the running, fast-attack craziness that's been their go-to game all season.

And they didn't let up. Larvik's defense, in particular, was greatly improved. About halfway through the second half, Györi let up a bit, sat back into a loose defense, settled for Amorim shooting the odd blaster from nine meters. and it was all over.
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Before I go on and on about the more interesting games, I should note: yup, Györi beat FC Midtjylland, so they're in the semifinal no matter what happens. As expected.

Itxako vs. Larvik 19-19

This match, as the score might indicate, was all about defending. Larvik, notably, did much better than usual. What they didn't do so well was score; Itxako was well ahead throughout the first half. There weren't as many fast breaks as usual, the goalkeepers both played well, and the wings never really seemed to accomplish anything. It looked like Itxako would keep pulling away, but Larvik just pushed a little bit harder, got a few more stops and a few more goals, and before anybody knew it, it was 19-19 with 30 seconds left.

I'd say Larvik played exceptionally well, but they really didn't. They just didn't give up. There were some unusual substitutions about halfway through the game, which helped, and Itxako didn't handle the end-of-game situation as well as might have been hoped (par for the course in handball, needless to say), but overall they played well, just not enough to hold on to their lead.

If Larvik can beat Midtjylland, they'll be in the semifinals almost certainly; after today I've got to say that they're just a bit more deserving. It only seems fair, I suppose—they're the title-holders in any case.
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Györi vs. Larvik 31-22

Watched this just because I'm apparently a masochist. Okay, so Györi is kinda awesome, but Larvik's still my favorite (ish) team. Plus, I don't like Audi, so I wanted Larvik to make a good account of themselves.

Like they had a chance.

The game in a nutshell: At 1-1, Larvik turns it over. Görbiz picks up the ball, throws it the length of the court to Jovanka Radicevic, who makes a tough catch, jumps, and scores, sliding past Leganger from the force of her momentum. It was just one of those games. Radicevic would go onto score 3 more goals, and as for Görbiz? Wait for it... 12.
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